My Heart's Desire
by LolfJacob
Summary: Bella's world is crumbling around her. Everywhere she looks she is reminded of the tragedy that has broken her family. Can she continue to be the person she knows she should be? Or will she take a turn for the worst?


DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the twilight characters. I am just writing a new story for them.

Please review! I would really appreciate some feedback. You know, should I just stop now? Or do you want to know what happened? Let me know!

**Chapter 2:** Facing the Music

I stifle a moan as something suddenly slams on top of me forcing all the air to gush out of my lungs. My eyes fly open and quickly focus on the face of my attacker. Great… Just great. This is EXACTLY how I wanted to start off my day. Especially with how hard it was already going to be. I mean who doesn't want to be attacked by a giant bear at six am in the morning? I make no effort to hide my complaints as I attempt to ignore the boy that is currently sprawled on top of me.

"Get the hell off of me." I mumble as I reach for something, anything really that will cause him physical harm.

"Hey now. Why the grumpy attitude? Have you been hanging out with Snow White and her seven little men? Cause I think that grumpy character is rubbing off on you."

"Ha. Not funny." I croak. My throat is dry and scratchy from going all night without being used.

"Well I thought so. Really though Bellsie, you gotta get up. We have to go to school today. Remember? That place where we receive personal torture five days a week." He chuckles.

"Emmett" I say. "First of all, that is not comforting at all. Second, how can you expect me to go anywhere when you won't get off me?"

"Right… well you got a point their Your Grumpiness." Emmett winks at me and quickly jumps to his feet pulling me with him. "But you have to get ready now ok? If you aren't in the kitchen in twenty minutes I will come up here and haul your butt down stairs. Got it?"

I dramatically roll my eyes at him as I grab the necessary stuff I need to get ready for the morning and shove him out the door to my bedroom. I loved Emmett dearly but he could get quite dramatic at times. For example, feeling that as my best friend it was his duty to show up at my house on the first day of school to 'make sure I wouldn't ditch out on him'. At least that is what he claims his reason for being here is. I personally however just think he is here for my mom's special start of school pancakes and bacon.

After taking a quick shower, putting on some fresh clothes, pulling my hair back and applying a small amount of make-up I head down to breakfast.

"Hey Bella it's about time you got down here I was worried that Emmett would devour everything before you could get anything." My mom laughs as she is cleaning up the kitchen.

"Emmett you are such a disgusting pig. Could you please chew your food? Is that really too hard to ask?" I say as he looks at me with a combination of bacon and pancakes hanging out of his mouth.

As I put my truck in park and kill the engine I can feel their eyes boring holes into my skull. I physically tense as I suck in a deep breath. Why couldn't I just stay home? Was this really necessary?

"Breathe Bella," Emmett commands me from the passenger seat.

Right I think to myself as I inhale in a large amount of air. Passing out from lack of oxygen does not fit into my new plan of fading into the background. Emmett reaches over and pries my frigid fingers from the steering wheel and gently sets them in my lap.

"Isabella it will be fine. It's just school. You've done this a million times." Although I can tell that he is trying to remain calm and in control when I look into his eyes I can see the sorrow and pain that lately have been present more than I would ever want them to be. Emmett has been the strong one through all of this and I let him be the one that held it together while I let myself shatter into a hundred different pieces. I know it isn't fair that I rely on his strength so much. I know it isn't fair that I ask so much of him. As it is he suffered as much as I did from the incident. I take a deep steady breath as I try to figure out the best way to phrase my reply.

"I know," I reply "but it's just that… well... it's all going to be so different now. And I just don't know if I can handle it.

"You can and you will," he replies as he gets out of my truck. He walks over to my side and opens my door. He helps me exit the truck and hands me my bag. Then he places both hands on my shoulders and stares deep into my eyes as if he is trying to convey something to me without having to say a word. "Bella, you can do this. You are much stronger than you think. Pull it together then we get out of class you can break down but for now I need you to be strong Bells, ok?" I nod knowing that speaking right now would not be wise for me. I am far too emotional to be able to compose a proper reply without breaking into tears.

I turn away from Emmett and focus my eyes on our high school Forks High. I don't give myself time to over analyze everything. I immediately start walking towards my first class for the day knowing the sooner that I get this day started the sooner it can be over. As I am making my way through the multitude of teenagers it's as if I can feel the waves of pity that they are radiating when they see me.

My body feels as if it is ready to explode with anger and disgust. I don't need their pity and I sure as heck don't want it. They know nothing about how the incident really affected my family and I intend to keep it that way.


End file.
